Ha! Trick Question.

The truth, dear reader, is this: I am getting tired. And I am scared. And, sitting before my laptop, writing this in an empty room, my phone buzzing madly next to me as my friends and family reach out and comfort each other,

I feel rather lonely.

Sometimes, you cannot save the world. Saving the world is too big a mission, too hard, too daunting. Sometimes, the true act of bravery lies in you saving yourself. Because you deserve to put your thoughts and feelings first, to reconnect, to reflect. You deserve to create and face the questions you’ve been neglecting for so long. You deserve to come out of this a stronger person, a kinder person, a better person.

And here’s the thing: you save yourself by being kind to your neighbor. By sharing a laugh with an old friend. By spreading a bit of beauty, a bit of hope, a bit of light in this moment of darkness. By spreading your warmth and love and compassion, it will come back to you tenfold.

Don’t die. Don’t kill your soul with panic and frustration. Instead, live! Live in the highest state of loving kindness you can possibly summon. Panicking is easy; remaining calm is harder.

A part of me will overthink everything. She will be always a little bit messy, a little bit blase about things, a little bit wild. I have my flaws and faults of character. I am beautifully human. But more than anything, I hope those I care for never doubt the magnitude of my love, never feel rejected by me, never question my devotion. Because without my friends, my family, the kind strangers who picked me up when I fell down, I wouldn’t be where I am.

I am a mosaic of all the people who have touched my soul in one way or another.

And during these hard times, I want to provide as much comfort, as much joy as I am able to. As Aggie said,

I want to be the gal who was really there for people she cared about. Because if there’s any time in my entire life to care, to love, to feel for and with others and support the loved ones — this is IT.

Us, as the human race, have been dormant too long, have hid our feelings for too long. It’s time to feel, to reach out, to be compassionate, to be loving.

That’s how we will get through this.

This is how I manage to remain calm despite it all.

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