January has been tough. It tested me; it tested my ability to remain calm in an emergency, and to work well under pressure, and to keep fear at bay. I haven’t felt this vulnerable, this open to attack, in a very long time. And I’m cold, all the time. Well, it’s January and the winter has been merciless, even down here in Florida. I have never been very good at dealing with cold days. They turn me a little maudlin.
So I tough it out, and wear an extra sweater because I am cold ALL THE TIME, and look over my shoulder at the imaginary threats looming behind me, and think of what I can do to get through today. Just today, nothing more. I drink coffee, because my ma taught me to drink coffee in moments of chaos. Soon it’ll be February. Soon summer will come.
I cling to that reality, every morning.