I Have a Confession to Make

I have a confession to make:

I am a traitor and a liar.

I say I am a blogger… but secretly, I don’t know how I should do this. Other bloggers, influencers, tell you all about their lives, love to share bits and pieces of themselves with the world. I’d call it selfish and vain, except for the fact that I find it genuinely fascinating.


But, when it comes to my own journey, well…

I want to do anything but talk about me.

Many years ago, for an art project, my professor asked us to answer the question “who am I” and I couldn’t. I still can’t, honestly. Be it naïve youth, curious ignorance, what have you—but I have struggled with that question ever since. Who am I? I am so, so much, I cannot possible fit my whole entire being into a few paltry sentences. My experiences, my beliefs, cannot possible be reduced to a few paltry pictures and some easily digestible words.

So, Blogging. I find it very hard to blog—blog the way they tell you to in all of those how to videos I’ve watched throughout the months— when I don’t even know what I am about. When I don’t feel the need to define when I am all about; when, very often, I don’t even want to be me. I use my art, my photography, to be someone else for a bit; a play in which I perform every role.

I love to lose myself in other people’s stories. That’s how I find myself.

But the blogging world doesn’t want that, does it.

So, I’m sorry. I’m sorry for lying to you. For making you think I have the slightest idea of what I’m doing. I don’t. It is yet another role I play.                   

journalLaura Alejandrajournal